everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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