Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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