There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize