talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
