Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
