toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
