we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
