So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
