dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
