my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When did angry sex become our thing?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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