Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
