my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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