if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize