I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
