An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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