READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
