The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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