I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
