He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
