naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just invented taco cereal.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
