I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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