Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
