He is an equal opportunity slut.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
