i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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