I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
