so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
