I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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