the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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