I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the condom got lost in my hair
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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