I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize