I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
