I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
