I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize