TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
