Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
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seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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