I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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