fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
