How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
