how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
