People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
