Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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