Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
