Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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