We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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