So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
