seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
