so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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