3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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