And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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