So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
