This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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