I'm laying in your front yard are you home
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
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when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
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anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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