Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
