Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
