My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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