fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
