Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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