I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I will be naked everywhere
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
