i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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