apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
