She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ketchup is God's man juice
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
