there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
