he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
