Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize