I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize