I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
