White coat. Heels.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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