Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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