She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you would pick up someone in the library
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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