I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
