So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
