It's Friday. Sex?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
