Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
